


I'm Not Trying To Make You Change

by nagi_schwarz



Series: Play Along [17]
Category: Stargate Atlantis, Stargate SG-1
Genre: Crossover, M/M, band au, musician au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-12
Updated: 2016-07-12
Packaged: 2018-07-23 01:50:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 663
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7461864
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nagi_schwarz/pseuds/nagi_schwarz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written for the comment_fic prompt: "Stargate Atlantis, any slash pairing, 'Hurt'."</p><p>Cam and John on the roof after a concert again, talking about life, love, and zero sum games.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'm Not Trying To Make You Change

John was sitting on the roof of yet another venue, guitar across his knees, playing Johnny Cash’s Hurt, when Cam sat down beside him.  
  
“Not feeling the party tonight?” John asked.  
  
“No. But you rarely do, so I’m sure you understand.” Cam had a bottle of beer he was sipping from slowly.  
  
Truth was, sometimes Evan quietly suggested that John skip this party or that, because someone with a VIP pass had a cold. John was pretty sure Evan knew what was up, but he never explicitly asked, and John wasn’t going to tell.  
  
“I like the way you do that song,” Cam continued. “Evan showed me this video of you and the others just jamming out to that song. At a photo shoot? You guys are really good together, whether it’s under the stage lights or under no lights at all.”  
  
“Thanks,” John said. Today was his father’s birthday, and he was feeling melancholy. As much as he’d never gotten along with his father, the man was still his father, his family, and -  
  
“Keep that up,” Cam said, “and you might make me cry.”  
  
“Vala told me all about you.” John glanced at him. “You cry at the drop of a hat.”  
  
Cam stared down at his hands. “Well, Vala doesn’t know as much about me as she thinks.” Then he slewed John a sidelong glance. “Just like Rodney still doesn’t know as much about you as he thinks.”  
  
John’s hands faltered on the strings. “Does _everyone_ know?”  
  
“Not Rodney, obviously. And not Jennifer. Not sure about the rest of my band. Vala does, because she’s Vala.” Cam raised his bottle toward the street light, peered through the dark glass to see how much was left.  
  
John recognized the wistfulness in Cam’s tone. “But she doesn’t know about you, then?”  
  
“She holds the strangest loyalties, even for men who did her wrong and are long gone. We’re better as friends, for the sake of the band, and she is my best friend.” Cam rolled the bottle between his hands, took another sip. “So I was thinking, John Sheppard.”  
  
John raised his eyebrows. “Yes, Cameron Mitchell?”

“You’re an attractive, talented, nice guy.”  
  
“Why thank you. So are you.”  
  
“It makes no sense that two attractive, talented, nice guys like us are single when there is an ocean full of mooks out there who have steady partners.” Cam took another sip of his beer.  
  
John raised his eyebrows. “Are you saying what I think you’re saying?”  
  
“Here’s the truth of it - I’m really not in love with Vala. I was, for a long time. But I moved past that. You can too. You don’t have to be alone for it, though. It’s easier, with someone who’ll sit with you in the silence and the shadows.” Cam was staring straight ahead into the darkness, but he darted another glance at John through his lashes at that last part. He had bright blue eyes.  
  
John had always liked a good pair of blue eyes.  
  
“I’m not asking you to be in love with me,” Cam said. “But I like you. You’re talented. And you’re damn beautiful.”  
  
John heard the stage door open beneath them and saw Jennifer step out into the parking lot, Rodney trailing behind her, holding her hand. They headed for the bus, and John closed his eyes.  
  
He took a deep breath, opened his eyes, and fixed his gaze on Cam. “Are you sure? You know how I feel.”  
  
“I do,” Cam said. “And after being in love with Vala Mal Doran for too long, I’ve learned how to manage my emotions very well. No one has to get hurt, but we can both feel better. Relationships don’t have to be a zero sum game.”  
  
John set his guitar aside. “I knew there was a reason you write the songs.”  
  
“Don’t make me quote Barry Manilow at you,” Cam said, and John laughed, leaned in, and kissed him.  
  
And it felt all right.

**Author's Note:**

> Title from Kicking My Heels by Tyler Hilton
> 
> Cam makes reference to Barry Manilow's I Write the Songs


End file.
